Stoic advice: Should I support my evangelical family?

(If you wish to submit a question for this series, please write to massimo at howtobeastoic dot org.)

J. writes: My brother and his family are about to move to another country to begin working as evangelical Christian missionaries. In preparation for this move, they have been asking friends and family (including me) to financially contribute to their missionary work. I feel very conflicted about the virtuous course of action in response to this. On the one hand, I do not share their faith and thus do not believe that the mission they’re embarking on is useful or helpful to society. Their goals solely have to do with proselytizing. This inclines me very strongly towards not supporting them, and of course if a stranger were to approach me with such a request I would turn it down without question. On the other hand, I feel a strong sense of duty to support and care for the needs of the members of my family, regardless of whether or not I share their religious and ideological beliefs. The virtue of justice directs us to fulfill our duties to others, based on their relationships to us. But in this case I feel my duty to my family is conflicting with my duty to the broader society. What do you think of this situation? And perhaps more broadly, what advice do you have for situations where more specific duties (to family, friends, country, etc…) seem to come into conflict with our general duties to humanity more generally?

This is an excellent and crucial question for the practice of Stoicism. And the best way to work toward an answer is by considering Epictetus’ role ethics. This is an approach original with Epictetus, though Panaetius developed an earlier, simpler version, as described by Cicero. At my old How to Be a Stoic blog I devoted a six-part commentary to Brian Johnson’s book on the role ethics of Epictetus, and you may want to check those posts for a fuller account (or, obviously, get a hold of Brian’s book!).

According to Brian, Epictetus thinks that we have to learn how to recognize the “call” for different roles, by following four specific criteria: (i) our particular capacities; (ii) our social relations; (iii) personal choice, or preference; and (iv) a “divine” sign. (Of course, “divine” here is to be understood in the broad Stoic conception of god as the universe itself.)…