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Stoic advice: How does one cope with sexual assault?
A. Writes: A friend of mine has been sexually assaulted and battered quite severely. Whilst he reported it to the authorities, and is seeking therapy, he is in shock over the fact that it was done by women, and although they were arrested, he was briefly in deep fear that he would not be taken seriously by the authorities because the women threatened to blame him. Thankfully, it didn’t turn out that way.
I wanted to know how a Stoic (barring therapy, as my friend is seeking it and is on his way to mental recovery) copes with such a thing. How does a Stoic use the concept of impermanence, the sphere of choice, memento mori, to cope with such an ordeal, or the possibility of, such an ordeal?
The Ancients assumed that will and rationality are the singular things within our control and are imperturbable to external factors, but they are wrong, as Spinoza pointed out. In the 21st century, we have a better understanding and know that we can experience things which cause our emotions (in the older and stronger amygdala) to override our rationality (in the frontal lobes). If you heard an explosion, your knee-jerk reaction is to convulse and bend down, you have no control over that.
My friend is a follower of Stoicism, but he has no idea how to use the philosophy to cope with his ordeal. I want to, seeing as I am in a position of relative calm because I did not have his experience, offer counsel and consolation. On top of his therapy, as he doesn’t want to relinquish Stoicism, and does not want to view it as useless, which he couldn’t help but think due to his attack.
How does one cope with the fact that even seemingly charismatic people can be brutal victimizers? How does one, through ritual and reason, cope with and adjust? My friend is a believer in the open door policy as a means to control his life (he is a very close follower of Seneca because of this), but felt jarred at considering it, because he felt he suffered a serious injustice.
From a position of detachment, without strong emotions overriding our judgement, what are some in-hindsight Stoic practices to help cope with the fact that not all evil in the world may face justice, that there are very emotionally traumatizing things out there?
